So How are YOU Doing?

I'm doing okay. That's it...just okay.

I finally crossed the caffeine-withdrawal hump. For about a week and a half, I was so tired all the time that I cried....a lot. For no reason. Now that I'm not craving coffee, I'm feeling better. Casey is much more supportive of my "quittin' the beans" than he was last time. I suppose it's because he knows better than to argue with any gestation-related decisions I make. Then again, he might just not want to argue with my insanity. Either way...he's being very supportive. He doesn't even complain when I make my red raspberry leaf tea, and he hasn't ONCE complained about me leaving my vitamins/prescriptions/anti-nausea suckers on the counter (easy access for me, and I remember to take them) He doesn't get grumpy when I spend my afternoons laying on a heating pad instead of cleaning the kitchen or doing something constructive.

I don't even have a lot of symptoms, either...which is nice. It looks like the ever-present nausea that I was having has dissipated for the time being. It still rears up every now and then (usually when I'm eating...just as a signal to STOP eating now.) My only issues are mild cramping, and lower back pain....and I can handle that. The heating pad spends most of it's time on my bed, or under my butt. (Hey, it's not glorious. It is what it is.)

Casey and I starting talking about the "after the baby is born" stuff....room setup, names, etc. I can't help but feel that this is dangerous territory, but I can't help it. I mean, who's to say that we'll carry to this one to term? Being pregnant is a happy thing, something that is supposed to be very exciting (you know, as long as you did it on purpose.) I'm very hesitant to think about the "baby", because I have that nagging fear that there might not BE a baby at the end of this. I'm not being pessimistic (so STOP thinking that!) but being realistic. It would be one thing if this were my first pregnancy and I was being paranoid....but I've been here before. It didn't turn out so well. My OB's nurse even called me a "possible chronic aborter"....that's not exactly a self-esteem boost. It doesn't give me a ton of faith in my ability to carry this kid for any length of time.

Casey and I have also talked about the possibility of multiples. I know that some have thought it was totally nuts for Dr. M to give us the go-ahead to try with five ripening follicles.... In his defense, not all of them looked great. If I remember correctly, only three looked big enough to actually develop into anything special. Anyway, back to what I was saying.....we talk about that possibility. I'll tell you now, I pray every day for a healthy pregnancy, and for a healthy baby (not babies) at the end of all this. Multiples scare the crap out of me, and rightfully so. I know there are TONS of people who have healthy twins and healthy triplets all the time, and have little to no complications....but I've seen the other side. It's very scary, and I know I'm not strong enough to handle it if I had a bad outcome. Now...I'm also a firm believer that if I am not meant to have them, I won't...and no amount of clomid will change that. If I AM going to have twins or more....then I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now...I'll stick to just hoping for a little singleton. Last time, there was just one....so who knows?


I totally almost bought this the other day, but stopped myself. I can't bring myself to actually buy any baby stuff right now...but here are the product specifications on the back:

•For all Ages (prefer baby age though)
•Pacifier gives your baby vampire fangs
•Makes baby simultaneously quiet and awesome
•If baby sparkles, feed to werewolves immediately and make a new baby

It totally made me giggle.