The Verdict

I had my followup ultrasound this afternoon. I have been on the progesterone pills for a full week, and we needed to see if it would make a difference, and if things were still progressing.

Last appointment, I was 6 weeks 4 days pregnant, but the minion was measuring exactly 6 weeks. The sac was a little small, but not alarmingly so. There was a heartbeat. Dr. E was optimistic.

Today, I am 7 weeks 6 days pregnant, but the minion is only measuring 6 weeks and 2 days. It is not growing at the rate it should be. The heartbeat is actually slower this week than it was last week, and MUCH slower than it should be (I don't remember the exact numbers.) It was harder to find, so they had to use specialized equipment to find it at all.

Basically, Dr. E does not believe that this is a viable pregnancy. She said that miracles DO happen, but the likelihood of me being pregnant for too much longer is slim to none. She gave me her cell phone number, so I could call her if/when I start miscarrying, and she would meet me at the hospital.

So, how am I feeling? Like I want to crawl under a rock. I have gotten a lot of "helpful" insight and advice, and I know they mean well...but it doesn't really help or change my situation. I know that the silver lining is that now we know that I can get pregnant...but there's really no point to getting pregnant if I can't sustain the pregnancy. (And, if I hear that one more time, I'm likely to punch someone in the face.) I can't say that I didn't see it coming, though. Ever since my ER visit last weekend, I haven't felt quite right about it. I was still excited, but I was starting to wonder about all of the early pregnancy symptoms that I should have had, but didn't. I must admit that I was much less surprised to find out that I am in the beginning stages of a miscarriage than I was last week to find a heartbeat...because I was completely stunned last week. It doesn't make me feel any better, and it doesn't make the situation suck any less...but it is what it is.