What Makes a Mother?

This year's Mother's Day wasn't nearly the emotionally catastrophic event that last year's was. Last year, it was a "Why-Aren't-I-A-Mother's Day... This year, it was more of "I-Was-Almost-A-Mother's Day." Surprisingly, this year hurt my heart a little less. It's possible, however, that it was because I was more prepared for the onslaught of feelings that I might have had than I was last year. My husband was home to support me, and to hold my hand during the inevitable tears. It's also possible that I am a little more at peace with my situation. I can't say that will be the same tomorrow, but I'm okay right now.

He bought me a beautiful bouquet of stargazer lilies, disguised as a "Just Because" present, because he presented them to me on Friday. I knew his intentions...he was trying to read whether or not I wanted to celebrate the day in my own right. To tell you the truth, I didn't really know whether or not I wanted to celebrate. I have always fought with myself with the "Does having a baby make you a mother?" argument. Truthfully, there are a lot of women that I know that shouldn't have ever had children. They pop out babies, and go on their merry way as if nothing happened. Being given the privilege of giving a life to this world had no effect on them. Giving birth to children did not make them Mothers. On the other hand, there are plenty of women in this world that don't/can't have children, and they are Mothers in their own right. Yes, I am fortunate to have my own mother, but I have a few women in my life that I consider my "second" or my "other" mother. Thank you, Mom Parker, for always loving me. I am part of your family, as much as your own children are...and I thank you for that. I had a woman that I worked with while I was in college, and I named her Mama Janet. I wish I could find her...because I think she needed me as much as I needed her at that point in my life. Even if they didn't give birth to me, they were as much my mother as the woman who did.

But I digress....as I always do.

What makes a mother? I have always sided with thinking that even if you don't have a baby, you can still be a mother...but I never thought of myself that way. I came to the realization, what makes me any different? Why should I rob myself of the title? Just because I haven't given birth to my own child, that doesn't mean that I am not a mother. I am a woman who loves passionately, and I hold my loved ones close. I am a woman that cries when I am happy for my friends, and I laugh when I am sad to keep the tears at bay. I am a woman who is always available to listen, and to give advice when needed (even if it's not wanted.) I am a woman that will fight for what I believe is right. I am strong, but I am gentle. I am fierce, but I am kind. I am tough, but I am sensitive. I am a Mother, I just don't have any children. And that's okay....they just aren't here yet.