Sleep...glorious, uninterrupted sleep. These past few days have provided me with some incredibly good nights. The nightmares are becoming fewer and farther between, and there have been a couple of nights that I haven't dreamt at all. I'm grateful for it.
It's getting easier to talk about it, and to think about it. Casey's step-brother and his wife are in town this week, and Casey and I went to visit on Sunday over at my in-law's house. When they asked me about everything, I was able to talk pretty freely about it without tearing up at all. It's a fact of my life, it happened, and now I'm actually getting to be where I can live my life without thinking about it during every second of every day. Reading past blog entries does not help, however...so I'm avoiding that until I am in a more stable place. I can read sad blogs, for instance my sister's blog entries on her blog from last year....I can read those and they make me sad...but they don't put me in a dark place. Reading my own blog (and she may have the same problem reading her own...I don't know) makes me relive my experiences, and it forces me to remember all of the emotions and all the devastation...some of which I purposely didn't blog about because it hurt too much. So, until I can read it without wanting to jump off a cliff, I'll be avoiding it. If I need some light reading, there's always Harry Potter. :)
1 comment:
I can't say that re-reading it puts me in a dark place. Usually it puts me in a pensive place, thinking of how far I have come emotionally since then.
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