Good Days and Bad Days....

Today wasn't a good day.

I had my surgery on Monday. I was in business meetings all day Tuesday. I worked in my hospital Wednesday, Thursday, and today. In the past week and a half, the only day off that I've had was my surgery day. You can't really recuperate when you have no time to sit down.

It's not totally my fault. I didn't want to work all week. The other manager decided that this was the week she was going to take her vacation. She planned this, even though she knew we were shorthanded...and she knew I was going to have surgery. She officially sucks. Had she actually stayed to help run the hospital, I wouldn't have had to run into work the day after my surgery. Because she was gone, there were just not enough people to run the hospital efficiently. Period.

but I digress.

Because I haven't had any time to sit and think and heal and grieve....today was a bad day. I was in some pain, but I couldn't decide whether or not to take my pain pills because I also have a wicked head/chest cold/sinus infection a-brewing (thanks again to not resting at all after surgery..my immune system is totally shot.) And of course, random people had to say things to me that just made me cry..and I couldn't stop the tears. My favorite of the day was, "Oh...well since you don't have children, you don't really know what I mean..." It was as if there was a little birdie sitting on everyone's shoulder...pointing at me and saying, "Hey...you see her? She just had a miscarriage last week. Let's totally say the wrong thing and see what happens!"

I don't know how long this going to last. All I think these days is, "Please be nice to me. I don't think I can handle it if you're mean. I'm just barely hanging on today..." I thought that going to work was a good distraction. I thought that it would be easier to keep it together if I keep myself busy with work/new house stuff...I realized today that I'm was just postponing the inevitable. Eventually I'll melt down... like I did today. Like I am right now.