Conflicted

I just want this to be over. People keep telling me to keep my chin up, not to lose hope, that I could still have this baby... I'm not so optimistic. My gut tells me that it's the end, and I just have to wait.

But the WAITING part is the worst. Out of all the women that I know that have miscarried, not ONE knew about it beforehand. That leaves me in my own little group...and it's a little lonely there. I have been cramping and bleeding intermittently all week, but nothing screamed GO TO THE HOSPITAL I have this new, angry stabbing pain that started this morning. Maybe this is it? Maybe not. My ultrasound tomorrow will tell more. Until then.....we wait.

p.s. I am supposed to be 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow.